Grandma, i'll miss you every year on this day

23 April, today, Grandma left this world.
I forgot to spend time with her when i can.
I even feel ashamed i disliked her before.
For coming to stay at my house, making me squeeze
in my already very cramped house with sisters.
I always thought how i would feel if she were to leave.
Nothing was what i thought.
But it turns out, it was the opposite.
When i saw the text Mum send me in the morning,
i teared and cried unstoppable for a full hour.
Till my tears all dried up, till i couldn't breathe properly,
till i felt like my world was breaking apart.
A loved one departing is a feeling that everyone dreads.
I was not expecting to see the shocking text.
After crying for half an hr plus, i suddenly felt
i want somebody to talk to, and i went thru my contacts.
BF should be the first one i call but i called and hung up.
In the end, i comfortably called Aloysius,
the one i could always talk tu abt my problems.
Not because i liked him before but because i just felt he would be thr.
True enough, he was. Like always, i tried as hard tu hold back
my tears, trying not tu sound like i was crying.
I think i succeeded but i cut the call quick knowing i was on it again.
R.I.P Grandma. I really don't want to be in the funeral but
i know this is all true, its all happening, undeniable.
I Love You for always