It's Monday tomorrow and yes it's been eons since I last posted on this blog. Graduation and prom was awesome spent with awesome people. The only thing i regretted was missing BFF Annie's Graduation Ceremony due to work. I really wanted to go:( Now that work is getting more and more stressful but easier to manage considering the fact that I've settled in, with the children, the workload, the parents and all. It had been a really good learning journey so far in the centre. It's like getting really hands-on things. Like meeting the parents to discuss about the first semester and planning for the upcoming concert on 11/11/2012 and it has really been much better than I expected. I never expect the children under my care to love me so much and I never expect the children that I'm not teaching to like me as well!. I remember during the June Holidays, Alyssa kept missing out on school because she was sad i lost my toe nail cos it broke after my K2 girl Jaz stepped on it accidentally. I can never forget the screams of the children calling out to me whenever I report for work. It's like motivation for an expected tiring day. When the clock strikes 5.30pm, I'll lepak and lie on the floor and they would also follow. To them, I'm like their teacher and their friend, sometimes they think I'm joking cos most of the time I'm playing with them. But now that they understand my pattern, they would obey and know when I'm getting angry and annoyed which is a good thing. I have a feeling my girls are becoming more and more vain like me, I'm not vain to an incorrigible extent, I'm just quite conscious of my own appearance, like if my hair is messy, if my clothes are properly adjusted, whether my makeup is smudged and that's about it. I love tying my girl's hair into cute little buns (ballerina bun they call it), braids (lizard tail they call it) or ponytails (pigtails they call it). Over time, I know what each of them like to eat, drink and even the fruits that they like, the hairstyle they like to have. I love giving them countless hugs because you can't give one without receiving one! Planting kisses on their cheeks and having them do the same. Even though till now I still can't get Yi Kai to hug me because this boy is so shy! After all the kiddy work talk, back to my kind of messed up as always social life. I love the parties that are carrying on~ Let's just say I stupidly change my lifestyle willingly for Daniel and then all I got was a motorbike accident that freaked me out. I met this bitch in Phuture and he was all nice (as usual) and I got to know and date him and realise he's such a mummy's boy (to me it's a good thing) and then I promised not to club, know guys etc etc, we agreed to meet for b/fast but i went clubbing the previous night and ruined the date cos I can't wake up. He enlisted and things went bad but for that one month 05/07-06/07 I didn't club, I waited to meet him. Friday nights, Saturdays and Sundays! I really rot at home waiting for him to ask me out. Yes stupid indeed but I was ready to settle. And then thinking about out of the little replies he gave, none of them was sincere in meeting. came to my senses, stopped texting, calling, tweeting to him etc. Deleted his contact and all. Hoping to bump into him in Phuture or any clubs again to get my 'revenge' well sort of la. I went all the way to look for him and got into a bike accident and suffered great cuts. Went to club the next day after i got injured and didn't get to bump into him. Well, someday. Can't wait for this Saturday because I'll be hitting the beach with the girls! Loving U~~~~

For Annie, 2011

Dedicated to that Lovely Princess<3
HAPPY 19TH ANNIE! <3<3<3<3
First thing, thanks for being there the whole time even though we can't meet up and talk often, you never fail to be there for me in good times and bad. It's the best thing that's ever happened to me to be able to meet you and be in the same class for four years and then get into the same poly which made meeting up easier.
This year started out supposedly good till I told you Kevin appeared and then I was happy and then bad things happen and you just stayed by me, like you always did. Hearing to me talk cos I called you first thing I broke up with him and then you were there over the phone at 2am listening to me speak about it. I really thank you for that and I really appreciate that girl. But it doesn't matter now cos I found my love and he found his. He's together with this girl Hannah, Fidelia's friend. HAHA! It's so coincidental I know. Hopes he treats her well though.
Then in April, you got to know from me that I met Jonathan from Phuture. Remember how we used to joke that he's my "future" guy! Turns out he just wants sex yo! HAHA! I still remember telling you all of this on the bus when we met by chance on the bus.
Then in June, when Flo Rida came to Singapore I told you to go with me and then I know that you have to celebrate your anniversary with Mervin! But I met Wilson at Butter. It's amazing how I met him. I wasn't expecting to dance with guys when I go, you know me and then I danced with him and we started from there. An after party at his friend's condo, played games and I liked him there. He's a taller version of me. As skinny and quiet. But I'm glad I found him and that he's different from all the jerks you know of.
Apart from all the guys talk, I really miss those times that we two just go out shopping and food and I still remember once when I was in a bad and i-wanna-eat-alot mood and I just texted you and we met at BPP and you went to eat a good deal of food with me before I go off to work. I like it that I can talk about everything and anything to you. You're a really valuable and lovely friend. I still have that big pink board you made for my birthday! I have it up on my desk. Remember you saw it when you came to my house being the very first friend I brought back to the new house!! HAHA! I really love you as a friend, a best friend, a girlfriend, a sister, a soulmate, everything you can think of. We may have some misunderstandings in the past. Sure it brought tears to our eyes, but at the same time we have endless smiles on our faces and endless laughter in our conversations always.
I remember you giving me a letter and presents when I was going to Xiamen and sending a text when you know I would be gone for 12 days to Turkey and telling me to take extra care of my weak body and my allergic skin and stomach. Never have I met someone so anxious about my health more than myself.
Right here, on this blog that only you can enter I would like to tell you HAPPY BIRTHDAY and THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU and I won't want to lose you even if someone paid me! It's the 7th year we have been friends! 4 yrs in sec sch and 3 yrs after up till now. 02 Jan rmb? Miss how we used to celebrate it and I still keep the two letters you wrote for me. This day, as you turn 19, I want to tell you that you have a friend who value you a lot(: I love you!

Dedicated to Annie ♥♥

Dedicated to Annie ♥♥




HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR!
August 17th,
Meeting you was the greatest thing in my life(:
I could talk tu you almost anytime and abt anything!
You know almost everything abt me.
You were the first one tu see my new house this year
way before anyone else did! :D HAHA!
The big board last year shock me ttm
and its standing proudly on the shelf on top of my
study table in my study room !
You turn 18, and i'm still not of legal age yet>.<
You taught me a lot, and let me know
what friends truly are. Secondary days were the best isn't it?
Hoping and hoping and in the end we did
enter the same class tgt for four years! (:
You always looked out for me, taking care of me in sch.
I missed those phone calls late at night
where we would both chat till both our mums shout at us!
6 years and still counting!
HAHA! Friends for 4 years and poly-mates for 3 years soon!
3 more years and it'll be 10 years!
I never regret knowing you, being more than just friends,
knowing more about you, confiding in you, crying in
front of you. I never forget all that you did for me.
Writing me a letter that brought me tears before
i go tu Xiamen, rmb which pair of shoes gives me blisters,
rmb what i like tu eat most, what i dun like/can't eat.
I rmb how you just randomly meet me up and went tu
eat a lot with me this year when i'm depressed,
Lastly, we share so may common interests,
food, music, idols etc...
I want tu meet up with you so much! ♥♥

I love you because you are such a wonderful friend.
I love you because you always laugh at my jokes.
I love you because you always care for me.
I love you because you're pretty.
I love you because you made me a GREAT birthday present!
I love you because you're my BFF
And I love you simply because YOU'RE ANNIE ♥♥

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
ENJOY YOUR 18th BIRTHDAY! ♥♥

2 days of not so nice-working day:X

SATURDAY, 26 June

Went tu work at 11am.
Wedding lunch and my guests were perfectly fine and i had only one table.
6 pax at a table and they can finish the whole of the lunch for 10 pax.
They drank alot but very slowly. Only quicken their pace towards the
end of the wedding lunch and i had tu go in and out getting glasses and glasses
of white wine for the guests and the bride. They had all the wine they wanted
since the bride's family was into night-club business. SiMin went back at 5pm after
she got an aunty tu replace her. Well girl,i should have went back with you!
1-2 at night was the worst after one wedding lunch.
Abdul, next time you give me a special table, don't get me a reserve/table!
Nobody can cope with that and not messing up.
6 individual chinese, 4 veg sitting at a table supposedly easy since
you don't have to serve them and your susan would be the cleanest
but with another table that needs service, its a diff thing.
Lucky for me, i end my shift at 11pm and went home for a rest.

SUNDAY, 27 June

Went tu work at 12pm, helped Mum with the stg lunch
BF was asking if i'm sick when i am half sick, half tired.
HAHA! I'm super tired after two weddings!
Went back up tu 2nd flr at ard 3.30pm after ShiPing gave Suhaimi
Excelsis & John for turnover. 2 useless staff-.-
ShiPing is so damn obsessed with his Godfinger game ttm!
Rain, lightning,sun and floods! LOL!
He even refused tu see Rebecca's text when i wanted tu show him.
Door-girl with Yee Ping and my table was also okay.
Till after i serve noodles and clear my empty platter.
I fell:X Quite a hard fall considering i am still in the same amt of pain now.
Even after so many hours. I still feel the same as ytd. Unable tu bend and sit.
Sit for long time and stand equals tu hell for me.
The chefs were as shocked as Kim Hock seeing me sit thr for so long.
Thanks tu Kim Hock i stood back up and tried walking but the pain was so
overwhelming i sat back down as soon as i reach the soft drinks bar:X
Chefs were saying its impossible i can still serve but thinking only dessert
was left, i thought just bear with it till it ends.
So i took my bowls and spoons but my right hand was in a bad condition
after the fall so ShaoCong set the bowls for me. I just waited tu serve
the dessert and took it out as soon as can pick up.
Serve fast and went tu the office tu sit cos Kim Hock told me to.
Then stayed for turnover and did as light stuff as i could.
Could not bend tu pick up napkins/table cloth.
Drag the susan off the table instead of carrying it like i would normally do.
Sat down after turnover and right elbow was swollen and in pain.
Unable tu lift it up now, how am i going tu carry my bag and stuff these few days.
I'll see if i need replace this fri, sat and sun:X

Yup i know, i should update more often...
Plain lazy and work was just happening!
Elwin's incident of getting punched.
How agents staff turn BQT upside down.
How peaceful work will be without them.
BF was spot-on, without them, we're faster and more peaceful.
At least i can drink at the back when i want to.
With them, the only advantage is just having one table all tu myself
but what's the use? I still have tu take care of them cos ard me,
there wont be even one BQT staff in sight!
Benie said since i have so much bad things happening at work, why don't i quit?

10th June, Peaceful night at work without the agents.
Elwin said it was the best night ever.
He took the trouble with Abdul to get 2 cakes for Mum
cos it was her birthday(:

11th June, the disastrous day where agents came.
So many of them the canteen was flooded-.-
One staff at the other side of me was giving the guests and staff problems.
I didn't bother till towards the end when it was dessert time.
I told him tu serve first then clear then he gave attitude.
He went tu the back and BF told him tu take bowls rushing him.
Then the guests had tu take up the platter of rice for him!
IF you were tu list out the wrong things, my fingers wont be enough(:
I went tu the back and told Abdul about it then he actually ask me tu recognize him.
I'm like i dun even rmb how he looks like-.-
Went out and took a glance at his face and went back tu Abdul.
Elwin was pissed after hearing what i said abt the guests talking among themselves.
He just told the agent tu change his pass and go.
Then it went on and on and something bad happen.
After that, i had to be the translator for the china agent and Sunny.
After translating, i had tu follow them down tu Security.
I forgot the agent's ID card and had tu go back and take.
Then Elwin forgot the photocopy of the agent's voucher so again i have tu run up.
After running down, i realise one piece of the voucher was missing-.-
I just had a free session of exercise from the F&B office to lobby-.-
I was involved thru out the whole thing all the nosy aunties
kept asking me what happened and so on. But i just said its ok now.
Went tu the back and as promised tu BF, i told him the 'story' LOL!
He's so damn interested in it la! Kept asking me whenever i ran by the ballroom.
So i sat down while he set the glasses and i closed vouchers.
And i realised i still cat do 2 things at once-.-
When i am talking to BF, i cant close voucher.
Then i cant calculate the exact number of hrs and had tu ask him for help.
I kept whining all night for his Milo so he said if i told the 'story'
he would make Milo for me! HAHA! Good exchange so i finish telling
and closing the vouchers without a mistake:D HAHA!
Bf, made Milo as promised after turnover at supper:D
I swear he looks damn cool when he held the agent down(random:X)

20 June at work was equally irritating too.
9am at work and the wedding lunch was smooth just that the bride was troublesome.
There;s this agent supposedly helping Bf at the back but he's better
off not there cos he just sit thr and play with his phone.
Goes missing from time to time and slacks alot!
I didn't sleep well and was quite fed up with aunty in the morning.
Sometimes, they just piss me off. BP aunties too.
Went for dinner break and i asked BF for Milo.
He wasn;t making it so he said at night.
So guess what i have been holding out for, the Milo at supper! HAHA!
I was so freaking tired when i was doing the rehearsal for the
march in of the sword bearers before the couple with Jun Da.
They were a funny bunch of people, very nice and polite.
6 times of repeated opening and closing of doors cos they could not be in sync.
Finally they did it and they started planning their pranks on the groom.
Found out during work that one agent used the microwave for himself!
I was like wtf, i have been working for nearly 2 yrs i dun even know
how tu on the mocrowave at the kitchen and he knows how tu use it-.-
Kim Hock was so cool raising his voice at the agents.
They simply deserve it seriously.
Thankfully Abdul's changing them this week.
Hopefully when i go back in the weekends, better groom-ed people are seen:D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEIMEI!
Today's the 13th June which means its my meimei's birthday! :D
HAHA! Thanks for always listening tu my problems
and accepting all my jokes and also we have walked thru
the toughest times right?
I hope you had a great day:D HAHA!

Thursday, 10 June
Went to work today despite it being my Mum's birthday.
Don't get the wrong idea, i'm not as unfilial
cos my mum is working on that day too:)
Went home after EC class ended early thanks to teacher's bad throat:X
Headed to work with Mummy after we got ready,
It was the DHL buffet dinner and it was so damn slacked at work that day!
After rushing the report thru the night and did not sleep at all,
School+work = tired ttm!
Imagine waking up since 9am on wed and not sleeping till thursday 1am!
Slacked for almost 2 hrs cos we had tu wait for the seminar tu finish
before the guests would eat their buffet.
Elwin was damn funny cos he could not find me and did not assign me a
place on the buffet line. In the end, i got the one just outside the ballroom.
I sat in the food store and when the guests came out, i just stood thr.
Spacing out i guess till guests came to pass me their plates i start tu clear.
Realise that this woman will pack food so Elwin told me to watch her.
Thanks Elwin, that was the best job i can ever get:D
Watching is what i do best! HAHA!
So i really literally watched her and stare at her eat! I know i seem
really bad but she doesn't even care.
She switched places so i switched too.
I just followed her like superglue! :D HAHA!
Then she did not pack cos i was watching and this other woman told me
if i could give her the olives so i told her its against hotel policy.
She said 'you dun have tu pack it for me, it's ok just do your own stuff'
I realise i cant get thru tu her so i went in ballroom tu call for Elwin.
And Elwin told her that if she wants tu pack, ID please:D
HAHA! These guests are seriously the ones why our image is affected!
Turnover for the wedding on Friday and Abdul had a little celebration
for Mum since its her birthday. Elwin told me to frame up the signage
after i'm done eating the cake and he disappeared!
I couldn't find the frame and wanted tu open the closet.
Jianwei said he has the key so i told him tu open.
I stepped inside tu take the frame and shaocong trick me tu turning behind
and so i saw them close the door on me. Slammed the door shut, pressed their
weight on it and locked the door. Banging, screaming and crying inside
saying for the most number of times i am claustrophobic and beg them
tu let me out. Only when the housekeeping auntie passed by, thats when
i am free. Even though it probably only last for a minute
its enough to let me die from shock. Childish behaviour coming
from 2 guys who are alr older than me! Thats a prank you should
never play. Like what SiMin said, when someone says she's scared,you dun play with it. But apparently, they think its a prank they cannot miss out.
I wonder where i got the strength to push against the door
of the food store when they wanted tu barge in tu 'comfort' me.
Well, save those rubbish. Don't even start it in the first place.
I was okay after i let it all out and cry. Went back into the ballroom
and saw the extra frame that they help me tu take out.
Of course, i refuse tu use it. You mean i have tu get pranked on before
i can get that fucking frame. Went up tu the third flr alone and found no frame.
I shocked Elwin when i nearly bumped into him.
Asked him for the key tu the closet and went down tu open it tu take the frame.
This time, i bang every door i open or close so if you see any dents
when you next go back tu work, its me.
Found 2 frames and i framed up the signage.
Next thing that i do was show them i dun need their dirty fucking frame.
Took the frame back outside the ballroom and open the closet once again
and throw the frame back inside the closet right in front of them.
Thats what you get for playing with me.
Went home at 11pm, fucking pissed at the both of them.
Went out tu give Jun Da his voucher at the bar, ignoring the irritating calls
and just walking off after finishing my task.
Nightmares are on since then and there's nothing i can do to stop them.
Guess its going tu take eons before i dare tu enter lifts and toilet cubicles again.
I swear that i won't talk tu them ever again and true enough
i can joke and play and laugh with anyone in InterCon but them.
FUck off from me. Not my friend anymore, not even fit tu be a colleague.

It's been 4 days.
Packed with assignments. 15 June is my 'freedom' day!
Not really able to work in holidays too.
Reason: I have to attend classes in holidays!
WTF seriously-.- Like what Michelle said : Take away my holidays, don't give me better, just take them all la.
It's so true, what holiday is this? I dun even get tu rest.
My form of rest is working but apparently i cant even work.
I even had tu turn down Min Yi's shopping invite>.<
I started on ITA and i am done on the personal information part.
Now i have also done my evaluation on the web games using the rubric.
Now what's left? Posting it up on the ITA blog and doing the report.
SafeAssign too! And LA plans evaluation.
Thankful to those who constantly helped me along the way.

The post ends here about my updates cos below i am just writing angrily
so as a warning 'Don't read' !















No matter old or new, i know this house holds no more meaning for you to be here anymore. Because you feel that rubbish is worth more than you right? In my case i dun think so. Its just that you gave away your chance. Where were you on Monther's Day? You were in fucking Taiwan. Why? Cos you had to choose between friends and FAMILY and you CANNOT reject the offer of going there because your friend has paid for you. Face. Do you know what it means to parents? I dun think you do because you absolutely saved no face for your OWN parents. By making your friends pay for your travel trip because they WANT you to go, you think it is an honour to us parents that hey i have a daughter whose friends are fucking generous is it?Well, if you think it is so, think again you bitch! By having them pay, not only do you bring shame to your parents, you also make them lose face like they never did. Since young, you SEEMED to be the most matured, understnading things on your ownm, doing things your way, being smart, excel in your studies. So much so to the extent that Mum thought she didn't have tu at least WORRY about you. But look who's talking now? You are no longer the same. You know i used to hate myself when i compare myself to you because you seem to do well in almost what you study. You do so well in primary and secondary school, till the point that you got into JC and i thought i was never going to make it pass. When i could go to JC too, i told myself i would never choose the same path as you. Reason not being i dun like being in JC but because i wanted to stop getting myself compared to you! I thought if i went to JC, i would again tell myself i HAVE to be like you. I chose Poly and wasn't as smooth as you but again as i grow up i learnt something. What i used to hate is what i enjoy now. I used to hate myself because i felt i can never be like you, doing well and get Dad and Mum proud of you. Now, I love comparing myself to you. Because i do what i love in my school, i say what i want. And on top of that, i dun give my most impt ppl on this Earth HEARTACHES but you do! You treat this place as a hotel isn't it? If you say you don't and we are accusing you, i'll quit school and be your maid. You are fucking irritating to the point that i often tell friends i rather i have no sister! I even told Fi i would rather i am an only like him! He says there are pros and cons well of course but i would rather my parents have no daughter like you! Which daughter forgets Mother's Day? YOU! Which daughter treats her own home as a hotel? YOU! Which daughter doesn't even be bothered to address her own parents? YOU YOU YOU again! Can't you call them when you see them? Can't you have the courtesy to tell parts of what you did everyday? Can't you remember to talk nicely? You have been given a scolding by Mum but again i expected you to not last for 3 days. I was right! Fucking damn right about you. I gave lots of advice to Mum about you. I know those words are fucking hurtful to her but again thats who i am. You didn't piss me off, you straightaway killed me thats all. I am that kind of person i admit. The minute i lose faith in you, thats it. I have been fooled too many times in my 18 years of life i know more to lies. I won't know if you are telling a lie maybe due tu your fabulous acting skills but let me tell you, if i were to know, you can never imagine what i can do. Wearing a big fat fucking mask right in front of my face is what i do best. I won't show you my emotions, i won't let you have the feeling that i am trying to get info from you. Instead, you would feel like i am CONCERNING you and wants to know more about your life. Well, i really want to know more about the amazing wasted life you have. 21 years what have you been doing? If you cannot answer that, let me. You have been changing for the worst, wasting your life, turning into a spenthrift, insulting your own parents and successfully treating your FAMILY as hotel staffs whom you can dun give a damn about(: THats what you have been doing all these fucking years. Why did you change? How come you have changed to this point? What made you change? Who made you change? Didn't we give you enough concern? We did but you were the one who is shutting us out. You used to tell us what happen, now you don't. Mum knows what kind of a daughter i am. I am an introvert by nature and i am serious if you dun believe it. I dun voice out my thoughts as well as other people do. And when i don't get my way, i throw tempers. When i don't understand things, i break down. My sisters have the habit of telling. Total opposite from me yes but again now Mum knows i don't have the habit of telling. I love to keep. Secrets, happenings, everything about me. Dad once said i was the 'happy nut' of this family. I bring joy to him with my nonsensical stuff over the years. Even in my letters wrote to him i wrote nonsense stuff thinking that would make him touched. I tell funny, random and idiotic jokes during mealtimes to see my family laugh and smile. I say i would give treat when parents feel we are eating too luxurious stuff. I used to think i have a perfect family. Now i think that way to but i have a PERFECT FAMILY OF FOUR now. I should tell you all these heartfelt feelings of mine but i won't cos i thought you would be smart (just like you were) to figure it out. But again, i now know, that smart brain of yours has been long thrown away by you, replaced by that useless rusty brain now. That you can't take in advice or opinions. Carry on bitch, carry on one day you would come to realise that all this are not worth. Don't cherish something only when its gone. CHerish it while it is still with you. A piece of advice i know you won't take : Friends are important just like family are. But one most important thing. You can have another friend who loves you but would you be able to have another family who loves you as much as we do? Think about it if you even have the time. THere's this question that most people like to ask their boyf 'If your mum and I were to fall into the sea, who would you save?' If your boyf answers 'of course its you' to YOU, then you might as well dump him. You may feel happy he place you in front of his mum but think again, he can have a gf like you but can he have another mum like his? NEVER! FAMILY to me equates to Father And Mother I Love You. But to you, i think it equates to Friends And Man I Love You.
Fuck out of my life! You need us for MONEY thats all. Not LOVE! Since that's the case, why are you here? Gratefulness, appreciating efforts, you hold none!

Long time no see? Not really long actually, whatever:D
I just had 3 big baked potatoes at home!
How cool is that? Waiting for it to be ready in the oven!
It's the best food ever:D Maybe i shld eat that every meal?
HAHA! What nutrients does a potato have?

Enough about potatoes,
My life has been a bit relaxed without work.
But no work = no money!
Oh well, assignments obviously comes first.
The worst part abt studying: ASSIGNMENTS!!!
If only school meant making new friends only~
HAHA! Attachment was okay apart from the fact i have a LOUSY mentor.
Thats why i refuse to change to M____ in my personal info.
Gloryland is still the best seriously!
I love Joshua Gow ttm! Handsome, cute, smart<3
HAHA! I kept tweet-ing abt it all this while!
I should stop before Joshua stops telling me he loves me.
He like on par with Bryan in my heart. HAHA!
I have conquered EC's individual assignment thankfully
and now i just realise i ahve ALOT to catch up on
after the fact that i skipped school for nearly one month
only choosing to go for tutorials on thurs.
I see so many X on my attendance sheet ever since i
start to sign on them recently. I start having the
X X X X since the first friday that school reopen.
Don't ask me why. You shld be smart enough to know if you're my friend.
I gotten over it but it still stays every single day
but oh well, i shall not let it defeat me again.
I have resilience more than anybody else!
Just knew that there is this lady EM in BQT.
She cant work for nuts i heard but i would like to see for myself.
After 15th June i shall resume my workaholic spirit for one week!
HAHA! Hope i'm not too rusty by then:X
I miss work, the ppl there, the jokes and laughter and to add on the $$$!
$.$ HAHA! 15th june when DLE is done i shall start.
10th June is going tu be a special day
cos it's my mum's birthday! Preparing the gift with Meimei.
The big one i just fuck care. Made me lose sleep last night
with your silly actions and the loud scolding from Dad!
Why do you always fail to change your habits?
A leopard cant change its spots. This phrase was designed for YOU!
Having a study room now does not mean the computer can be on till forever.
It's not homework just shut the fucking computer off!
THere's obviously nothing wrong with playing games but
look at the time, sleep is never enough for me cos of assignments
and when i finally decide to be lazy and sleep early, i get woken up by
Dad cos he was scolding you to off the com! Like wtf, i want to sleep
but i cant cos i have assignments to rush, you have nothing to do,
you can sleep but you choose not to, If you have so much time want to help me out?
Woo~ Relax baby, it's over>.<

Whatever it is, i dun like you, your attitude, the way you behave, full stop.
Tmrw's the day i have been anticipating this week!
Sunday, finally i get to see those ppl i miss!
Those fun ppl at work. Hopefully most of them turn up:X
SiMin and MinYi is coming too! My two lovely ladies<3<3
Cant wait tu see you tmrw!
I'm a bit disappointed BF has to work and can't come.
YongQiang was invited but he has to book in on sundays):
Abdul has not replied till now and Suhaimi
ShiPing has to work too.
Richard has exams on the coming week.
Seems like alot of ppl are not coming right?
Lol, ordered food for 40pax and Mum is going to prepare more food on her own!
Sotong balls! And marshmallows.
Excuse me, you have guests geraldine mok. HAHA!
I booked the sotong balls ! :D
I shall start to finish my lesson plans and have them all printed out on Monday for submission on 10th June.
Meimei's birthday is coming too. On the 13th
What shall i get for her?
Maybe i see where i can get a song for sisters and sing it to her on her birthday

Shocked to see i'm back to posting?
HAHA! My life has been so happening i dun feel like
updating my friends or anyone around me.
Since ppl cant be bothered to ask, i cant be bothered tu tell right?
I mean its not as if i want tu tell too(:
School assignments are flowing in like a massive flood!
I thought it through, thought it well.
Thanks for all the support and encouragement from ppl who knew what happened.
For ppl who don't, well too bad, you are just not updated enough:D
Sometimes, it just takes less than 30 secs for you tu ask 'how have you baan?'
I believe i will tell you everything.
Thats why there are some ppl who knew what happen tu me and some who don't.
If you are still thinking abt the death of my beloved Great Grandma
please get that thought out of your mind(:
Couselling helped alot despite just being one session.
The words said during that half an hr was priceless.
Giving me constant reminder each time i stray from the correct path.
I once thought nobody would be able tu truly feel what i feel
till i met ShiHui who told me she was in the exact same situation.
So many ppl knew what happened tu me but ironically some that i thought
would be in wasn't even considered.

THANKS:
1. MingYang
Accompanied me right from the start! The meet-ups despite
you being tired from your training. Pushing me on when you know
i am already making my mind up tu end it all. Thanks

2.SiJia
Girl, you've been with me way before the death of my Great Grandma.
Walking through all the problems i had. You know them all.
I was totally lost when i lose her but you were there, comforting
me, caring about me, asking and calling when i wasn't in school.
Telling me how worried you were. Sorry for the down period when i promised
i would be in sch but failed tu turn up, i may have let you down but
now i can assure you, i am back on my feet, i won't attempt silly
things or thoughts like what i did in the previous month since the
end of April. Thanks for everything.

3.Amanda
The girl whom i can always rely on. Like SiJia, you were equally worried.
Texts tu ask why i wasn't in sch. I couldn't bring myself tu face up
tu the messages that you, fidelia and sijia sent. Guilty perhaps
that i entertained those silly thoughts of mine. I know you would
be the happiest tu see me get back up. You never abandoned me once despite
all those hard times. Last year, i was in the same grp as you
in projects. You understand my potential and willingness but suddenly
i lost it, you were the most concerned as tu why my drive and motivation was
gone just like that. You made me understand that nothing is impossible.
Sorry for letting you worry as a friend, heartache probably but still THANKS for
all that you have done.

There are many more significant ppl wh have helped. Ms Asha, ShiHui,Minyi<3, Bernice,Fi. Thanks for being in my life, wonderful ppl.

Okay, after 5days i am completely drained of energy.
Not even one full day of sleep after adding up
the number of hours that i sleep.
It was unexpected and definitely not what i wished for.
Walking the last 3 rounds at the wake, i cannot hold back the tears.
I am a strong girl and don't show my emotions.
Considering i was holding the hand of my pretty 7-yr old cousin,
i didn't want tu shock her with my overwhelming of emotions.
Looking at Gran for the last 3 times, it really hurts
to know that you can no longer see that face of hers, hear
that voice and feel that touch from her.
I regret not cherishing the time i have with her.
She came over to stay when there was this period that
Dad and uncle have tu take turns taking care of Gran.
I remembered how i rejected that idea like it was the worst of my life.
How i dread going home everyday because i dun want tu see her.
How i ignore her calls and pretend i didn't hear.
How i wish the maid could understand her so i dun have tu translate.
How i think she dirty my bed with her medicated oil smell.
How i hated having tu share rooms just because i have tu give up
my room with Meimei for her and the maid.
Then there was this shocking news that she was admitted tu hospital
where all the bad stuff start tu come.
How the doctor said she have less than 3mths and
i was so afraid she would be gone before CNY but she survived that.
Mum said its not good tu die ard big occasions.
She survived CNy but wasn't able tu avoid Qing Ming Festival.
She died on the very last day of Qing Ming.
There was this praying mantis who was discovered by Sebastian on Monday
and after that got scared away when ShuWen tried tu take a pic.
This morning, it was found on the flowers at the hall,
we shook the flowers, disturbed it but it just stayed there.
Left the flowers on the coffin and i went tu take a look.
I saw this amazing thing that happened.
It actually lifted its front legs and brushed past its eye as if
it was wiping away tears. Mum said it could only be two possibilities.
1. Thats great-grandmother
2. Ye Ye came and fetch Great grandma tu be with him
I wished it was the second one of course.
Headed tu the crematorium and the praying mantis was still on the flower.
The uncle covered the coffin with the red cloth and fling the mantis
away from the coffin tu the ground. I actually still saw the mantis stay
put on the ground not moving an inch. After the last rites,
we headed to the viewing hall, the part i dread the most,
walking there, i saw the praying mantis again facing the exit.
I was at the spot where i could see the whole process of the cremation.
Emotions flow throughout the hall as the coffin was moved closer
and closer towards the furnace. The doors opened
and the spark i saw and that was the last i saw of Great Grandma.
5 days at the wake was no easy task,
lack of sleep, lack of food and water,
If there is a next life, i still want her as my GReat Grandma.


Thanks to BF for all the 5days,
sorry i had tu keep disturbing you late at night.
And according tu you, technically you were only thr for 2days
but i think you should know thats quite enough.

Minyi, sorry i haven been texting you.
I think by now you should have known what happen.
I wanted tu text you but the thing is i cannot text often
and i dun want tu let you wait and wait for my reply
which mayb i will be too tired and forgot tu text back.
I miss talking tu you, working and going out with you
but all these will have tu wait.
I still cant get over the death, after the whole process,
i am still overwhelmed by the sudden departure.
I think by now the smiley, joking,nonsensical me wont be seen
as much, i don't think i can take things the same way.
Sometimes, death just shows you a different side of life.

Grandma, i'll miss you every year on this day

23 April, today, Grandma left this world.
I forgot to spend time with her when i can.
I even feel ashamed i disliked her before.
For coming to stay at my house, making me squeeze
in my already very cramped house with sisters.
I always thought how i would feel if she were to leave.
Nothing was what i thought.
But it turns out, it was the opposite.
When i saw the text Mum send me in the morning,
i teared and cried unstoppable for a full hour.
Till my tears all dried up, till i couldn't breathe properly,
till i felt like my world was breaking apart.
A loved one departing is a feeling that everyone dreads.
I was not expecting to see the shocking text.
After crying for half an hr plus, i suddenly felt
i want somebody to talk to, and i went thru my contacts.
BF should be the first one i call but i called and hung up.
In the end, i comfortably called Aloysius,
the one i could always talk tu abt my problems.
Not because i liked him before but because i just felt he would be thr.
True enough, he was. Like always, i tried as hard tu hold back
my tears, trying not tu sound like i was crying.
I think i succeeded but i cut the call quick knowing i was on it again.
R.I.P Grandma. I really don't want to be in the funeral but
i know this is all true, its all happening, undeniable.
I Love You for always

BF said no more skipping of class after i told him i missed sch today.
WTH! Think i will cab tu sch and cab back home.
9am-6pm of class. With 3 hrs of break in btwn.
I am simply too tired tu wait and squeeze on the bus alr.
I must cut down on vulgarities thanks tu Eric!
BF bought me chicken on the last day of his work! HAHA!
<3 the chicken!!! HAHA!
Text BF a while ago abt his first day at sch.
He said quite average looking and a pretty girl stayed near him. WTH!

Just saw 11:11 and wished BF could work on this sunday!
Please, please,please oh whatever la. HAHA!
Had a fun day at work today despite the boredom.
ShiPing and his usual madness as the manager.
Refresh the ballroom of 70 pitchers and Elwin did the most amazing
but equally dumb thing. Pushed the cambro into the ballroom
and he just cannot aim at the pitchers when he refilled them!
The water was everywhere on top of the cambro.
Looked after the Indian buffet line.
Afthe lunch, was pure boring ttm!
I spend my afternoon walking tu and fro the kitchen and foyer and back area!
Cos the event was on, we could not pass thru the ballroom,
if we need anything, the kitchen or the terrace would be the place we go.
Thinking the terrace was hot and i hate opening doors after doors.
I went by the kitchen area. With nothing in my hands, nothing to do.
I even had time tu give myself a break all the way down tu B1.
Normally i would just give up going down. Hate waiting for the dumb lift!
So i walked around and watched the chefs make buns.
The chef who made pau even said tu me there is a supposedly kids song
but it is actually a ghostly and eerie song.
妹妹背着洋娃娃
来到花园来看花
娃娃哭了叫妈妈
树上小鸟笑哈哈
the lyrics sound perfectly alright but look closely.
Meimei was carrying the doll in the garden admiring the flowers.
When she was looking for the mummy, how come its the doll that cry and not the meimei, and the chef still said somemore the bird on the tree still laughed!
I was like no what its not eerie.Then the other chef explained i was like
'hey it sounds kind of funny now!'
Then the chef said 'the best song is 世上只有爸爸好
I immediately said 妈妈la! Then he continue said papa.
He want also dun have cos his dad died alr.
Had a great time laughing at the kitchen with the nonsensical things the chefs
said while they were busy making buns and food.
Suhaimi was eating with us during the break and ShiPing, Elwin and Pat's
argument made all of us, including him laughed like mad!
HAHA! It was a fun day thru out.
Especially when standby is not a must for Exxon! <3 it!
Tmrw's the same too! Cant wait for the countless times of walking back and forth!
I hate to reject other ppl and i dunno how tu say no.
So i end up accepting favours and food and anything from ppl.
I think its what made me offer ppl food and sweets all the time.
But i dun like ppl tu reject my food=.=

Oh BF):

Seriously, BF must you do it everytime?
Disappoint me after i thought you had agreed.
I thought you were really okay with the shift.
Turns out you just didn't cancel it in front of me.
Well, maybe i expected too much from the very little you can give.
One day and the last day, mayb just that one day.
I did too much, expected too much.
I was happy seeing the pop-up window when you came online.
Thought you had forgotten about ur shift, i reminded you.
Turns out you thought i booked 5pm for you, it's 9am!
All the way till 2am. So that i could work longer with you.
Thinking that you wont cancel sunday's work.
My mood just dropped totally when you kept saying you cant.
It's like those days i wake up and just feel moody for no reason.
Now there is a reason. I wont get pissed like i used tu.
I learned not to be, i just got disappointed.
Each time disappoint comes to me, receiving it silently is what i do.
I end up not knowing how tu react when ppl greet me, talk tu me.
That's me but i really don't like it the way i behave.
I feel so rude.

Quick quick post before Mum completes her Wii Bowling and i have tu sleep.
Nicole's new April mix was nice.
I just didn't know most of the songs inside but it brings up the mood alot.
Definitely great help i were tu be on the bus on the way tu work 7am!
I will be wide awake , mood high at work unlike the usual.
HAHA! Chatted with BF online just now and this silly BF
of mine didn't smoke today at all! It's a great achievement man!
Hope your tattoo determination stops you from spending $20 every week
on that useless and harmfulpack of sticks! HAHA!
I shall change it tu Ricola next time i see it in your pocket again.
HAHA! Hey. doesn't it mean i have tu prepare Ricola with me everytime? No way!
And BF, please please get me sweets tmrw when you come for work!
You cancelled your sunday shift, make up for it!
And WGS, i booked for you and you said no, no and NO! no matter how much i beg you.
Today, that dumbass woman just 'forced' you and yes was the answer. WTF!
You dumb dumb dumb BF!
SiMin dear just came back from BKK safe and sound and she got me stuff
from Bangkok! LOVE LOVE LOVE! I have the same thing as MinYi but a diff color.
Hope its pink! HAHA! I really like pink stuff. Nails, phone, laptop,nail polish remover, and i would love to get a pink wallet! HAHA!
I shall get it on tuesday mayb on my shopping trip! HAHA!
My list are so long ~ I want tu buy make up mist! Pink, yellow or blue?
Shall ask BF tmrw(: HAHA!
Prata and prawn noodles for breakfast tmrw morning!
Thanks to my lovely lovely Daddy who is driving me tu work before going
tu pray at Grandpa's house. Thanks tu him i am being rich again soon!
Ppl who know me would have known how close and loving
my Grandpa and I are. And ppl who know me well enough would
know how much i missed him since 13 years ago. I still do!
13 years was freaking long sometimes i feel like joining him! HAHA!
Each time i meet with problems, stress, frustrations,
i would be silently talking in cantonese to myself directing
those words to Grandpa. I am a big girl now, but i still
am a little girl to him. After he left me when i was just 5,
my world felt lost like i no longer have a grandparent who dotes on me.
My other grandparents dun love me as much as they love my sisters.
I didn;t even get tu see Dad's mum cos she died way before i was born.
I really miss you Grandpa! Tmrw's the official 13th year i miss you~

BF and his food mountain! HAHA!
He can eat alot and say 'i feel like vomiting now' HAHA!
I want to see my kids tmrw!!!!
See cute BF on saturday:D Mixed feelings nowadays like what i told MinYi.
Oh well, i cant explain it, i just feel it:X
WTH, sorry BF always had tu go through my emotional up down each time
he does something stupid at work. =.=
Thanks and sorry to you, cute and dumb BF:D

The first day of the week i work and probably the best day of the week.
Considering starting at 7am was a bad idea.
Wasn't as bad as i thought it would be.
Worked with only Don and our new EM, Suhaimi:D
This new Event Manager kept asking me tu rest:D
He's totally new to our working style as he was previously from Orchid Club
where the working style and stuff were different.
Had quite a nice time having small chats in between standby time.
Went for my break at 11.15am with Abdul:D
Went back up and prepared for the buffet lunch.
It was a half day event so the guests left as soon as lunch start.
Nice time turnover for the Citibank event at night.
Kim Hock kept asking me tu do stuffs and when he pronounced a word
wrongly or what, i will correct him and get 'punishment' soon after!
He said ladle as LA-DER and when i correct him he did his usual
punishment by slapping me on the head with his BEO repeatedly=.=
While arranging the cutleries, Abdul called me tu book shift for myself.
So i sat on the floor and book with the new EM fascinated at this is how
i get work shifts. HAHA! You still have alot to learn.
Continued my setting for the buffet line and KimHock said
'Can i trust it will be completed after i smoke?'
I said i need time but shouldn't be a problem.
When he came back i was still on the cutleries=.=
HAHA! Got accused by the chef of molest cos i accidentally hit his butt when i
was moving backwards at the clearing point pushing my trolley>.<
Went down for break at 4.30pm.
Went tu sit with BF and Eric when they came and managed tu persuade BF
tu work one day with me cos he intend tu stop working after this week.
Went up tu write the booking for BF and Eric and i book more than 1day!
HAHA! Booked for the WGS event after putting down BF's name.
Did Pre-tray with BF, Eric and Don and when i told BF i book
WGS for him he immediately say no. WTH! And kept saying he want tu cancel.
Eric got influenced and no matter how i say please tu BF, still no.
So i got irritated and kept quiet instead and not long after,
BF said dun want friday too, i got pissed alr.
Wiping the chopsticks quietly and overheard Eric tell BF 'eh she angry alr leh'
Bf's reply was 'ya i know.' And did nothing=.=
I counted the chopstick rest and i couldn't reach the top of the trolley.
So i kust put the rest back tu the basket and did the chopsticks.
Don went tu get settings and Eric and BF disappeared tu nowhere.
KimHock saw and ask why am i the only one left.
BF came back after awhile and keep asking me 'eh you angry ah?'
I remain quiet and never look at him and he started tu pull at my uniform
like he always do when i am angry at what he did.
He convinced himself by telling me 'not angry right?' as always!
I just told him 'I don't want tu talk tu you, dun want see your face'
He gave up and walk away. He came back after awhile and try again
but flinging his hand away was what i did and he walk away.
BF didn't wipe his buffet line when the chalfing dish water was flooding the
whole iron rod and the floor! So i went in and out 4 times for the cloth
before he came out and wipe a small corner. Standyby with him
funny feeling in the air because we were beside each other but not talking
at all. He started first and ask me 'still angry with me ah?'
I turned away, he nudge me and said 'eh dun angry la'
He keep repeating it over and over and i got irritated
and told him stop it and look at him and smile=.=
That's what i have been avoiding all the time. His face!
Each time i see his face when i am angry, everything's okay alr=.=
WTH i am a soft-hearted failure seriously! And i hate it.
The fact that i cannot stay angry for the longest time with BF!
The dinner started at 8.30pm and my side was literally empty
with all the guests crowded at BAllroom 2 failing tu see the food at Ballroom3!
So i was only standing there with nothing tu clear.
Chatting with the chef until they got busy switching the food from Ballroom3
tu top up those at Ballroom2! HAHA!
Turnover after all the guests left and BF did something stupid just
tu make me laugh! Called him from the back and he turned around and wave.
I told him at supper whenever i call him he must wave like that
and he said okay! HAHA! We shall see this Saturday.
Went down for supper at 12am and the food is not ready
so the auntie said change first then makan.
BF imitate the way the auntie told him tu me and i laughed hard.
Felt abit sian so i asked BF tu do his waving action and he did it.
I told Eric i have a cute BF and Eric say mayb only i think that way=.=
At the end of yesterday, i realised i have a CUTE BF<3 <3

Tuesday,6 April
After a month exactly! I can see my kids!
Miss them like crazy, love them like mad!
Went there as early as 9am after being late meeting Alida. SORRY!
And the first thing i did was tu see lovely Jolene smile at me:D
Up tu my Nursery turned K1s classroom next.
SAw ChenXi first thing and he shouted 'Teacher Geraldine!'
Everyone heard him and Dayna ran over tu give me a hug
and every K1 of mine came over and hug me all around:D:D
Esther came over and gave me a kiss on the cheek and said she missed me.
This pretty girl is so loved since i saw her,
same as me, active and always laughing. The way she holds her pencil
is the same as me too! HAHA! <3 <3
Went doen for assembly and 'Miss Korea' Rina came and sat on my lap
amazed at my purple nails and said she love blue instead. HAHA!
Went into the toddler's class after sending Amanda in cos she vomit.
And Lea-Anne meimei, Rei-Anne cant stop crying because she wants ppl tu carry her.
So i did the job and she quieten down amazingly.
After i decide she stopped long enough, one slight move away from me
and she cried like hell again immediately.
So i held on tu her for the whole morning.
Chen laoshi came and took care of her while i looked after Jazreal's meimei
who cried equally as much as Rei-Anne. She's hard tu calm down
and stubborn at the same time. I used both soft and hard methods but ALL FAIL!
So i used the bluffing method: if you drink water, i bring you out.
It failed and was useful at the same time and i brought her out as a reward.
Went up tu the Nursery classroom tu see see and off tu my K1 class again
They were practicing writing and comparing the boys and the girls.
My pretty little ones write so much better. They boys just scrrible
Zhiyu was the only boy who write nicely.
Esther's handwriting was super neat and nice.
Phoebe's writing was so princess-looking !
Seeing them concentrate makes my day perfect, considering being
with some of them for a year! See them grow every week
makes me feel happy and happier! Down tu lunch and
hug Jolene tu sleep at nap time. i cant sleep without her!
HAHA! Holding her small hand and seeing her sleep nicely
is a great achievement indeed:D

I know i just post ytd but i simply have nothing else tu do!
WTH! I do nothing but stay at home when i dun have work.
It's my off day so shall post about ytd.

Went tu work after having a quick chat with BF on MSN:D
He just randomly ask me tu watch a video.
I watched it before but still its the thought that counts.
Thanks for making my day, sweets:D
I am trying tu control my temper alot today=.=
Just like what i said, bad temper after having this BF of mine.
Went tu work and immediately start on the sash tying.
After 7 tables, Jane said it wasn't what she wanted.
WTF, Abdul said just leave it and tie the rest but he said eat first
so we went down for dinner and when all the 5pm staff came,
they tie the sash just for the sake of tying it!
Jane happened tu see one table with the rubbish sash tied
and assumed i was the one who did it and got all the blame.
Seriously, keep your hands tu yourself if you dunno how tu tie it!
MinYi and i had tu re-tie every single sash we see across the ballroom
of 40 tables because every single one was like shit.
Simply annoyed by how ignorant ppl work.
Got 2-3 with MinYi after god knows how long.
The table of china ppl simply had no manners at all!
No offence towards them but this lady kept her chair so moved out
when its so fucking cramp with 40 tables.
When i was rushing, kicked the leg of her chair accidentally
and my toe bleed. Damn painful tu walk around>.<
Helped BF tu clear since MinYi and I were fast enough:D
End of dinner, collected the sash into one trash bag and counted.
I think i lost count but it should have 190.
Turnover and Aunty Tm said i should have taken the water base
together with the dessert plate so that i can save the trouble of doing
double job. I was like ya la ya la, why should i listen tu you?
I didn't ask you tu help me put the water base, i intend
tu put the base after the plates, what can you do about that?
And if i should take the base together with the plates,
why didn't the person who fold it put the base with the plates
like it was supposed tu be? Then i wont have tu do double right?
Use your brains. You BP aunties always know that i cannot
lose my temper at you and i should have the most respect for you,
well prove it. Show me you deserve it or not don't even think about it.
Respect is earned not given ok? You still dun understand it despite
your age! Sometimes, its such a joke seeing how i know some of
the things at work more than you do, despite you working there
longer than i do:D
Nearly lost my phone when i punch out cos i left it inside my uniform,
Told BF tu help me call and guess what, he went ut smoke!
Tsk, i should have let those pack of cigarettes remain in my pocket
and never return it like what i did that time!
HuangZhen helped me call instead and thanks tu him i found my phone:D
Kim Hock was on my transport too and i didn't know it until
he wanted tu get on the van. he told me tu move out tu let him go in,
i did as told and got a knock on my head! WTH
He practically making fun of me for the time he was on transport.
Got home at 2am while texting my lovely Twinnie:D

BF made my day:D
Now i don't mind tying 200 sash for the chairs:D
See you later BF! Love you! <3

Just came back from a satisfying dinner with my family:D
My treat of crabs cost 70+ bucks but it was worth it.
Twinnie Love treat her family tu dinner too but wasn't that good for her.
Shall post again tu cover that previous long post that i like so much.
Cos somebody keeps enquiring about the details that i am simply irritated.



(From left: BF,Eric,me)
Text BF just now before i had my crabs and his reply made me a happy girl.
I realised something today that i only told MinYi.
After knowing this BF of mine, i become bad-tempered! :X
Like seriously, he's a pro at making me happy and pissed.
Everytime he pissed me off, its as if the world piss me off too.
But when i see his face again, i just cant stay angry. WTH.
And knowing this BF made me more vulgar with his constant swearing=.=
I swear and curse more often now. WTHWTHWTHWTH
BF made me angry, pissed, feel like slapping him which i always do
but still there were times when his stupid acts just make me turn from :( tu :D
There were happy and sweet times still, 2 seconds massage,
but i still simply love love love this lovely BF of mine.
Never fail tu bring a smile tu my face. Will you stay with me for long? (:
Love you much, BF ♥ ♥ ♥